Guns Don't Kill People

Guns don't kill people.

Thanks everybody who points this out-- great point. It's so clever and well thought out.

But I can't stop thinking about the gun regulation debate from an objective, reasoned point of view. I know, I know-- I'm obnoxious, but I'll try to keep my liberal whining to a minimum and focus on facts here.

Couldn't the same thing be said about vehicles? Something along the lines of, "Cars don't kill people, people kill people"? It's actually quite a relevant comparison since the death rate (deaths per 100,000 population) for vehicle deaths in the U.S. in 2010 was 10.65, where gun violence came in around 10.20.

"So, what's your point, Dylan?" Well-- it's strange that we, as a nation, take no issue in the load of regulations that we pile onto owning and operating vehicles (registration, licensure, insurance, usage laws, etc.), but as soon as we discuss something as simple as more stringent background checks or government oversight on owning and operating a firearm we start screaming foul play. Why do we regulate vehicles so intensely? Safety. It's always been about safety. The motorized vehicle was introduced to humanity in the late 19th century, and it quickly became very clear that when used irresponsibly vehicles were incredibly dangerous to the whole of the population. So the government decided to do what it is supposed to do: protect its citizenship.

How did the government accomplish this? The government began regulating who, how, where, and when the population could operate a motorized vehicle. Since then, more stringent operation laws have come into effect; most notably the requirement for all operators to carry insurance in case of any damage the operator may cause whilst operating their vehicle.

So why is not my God-given right to operate a vehicle that I OWN at any speed, any place, and however I want? I mean, the damn thing's primary purpose isn't even to be used as a weapon (which, by the way, is exactly what a firearm's primary purpose is)! In fact, only in the rarest of cases have vehicles been used intently as weapons! Most vehicle deaths are the result of accidents since motorized vehicle's base purpose is that of simple transportation and convenience, yet we allow those socialist government bureaucrats to regulate the hell out of them without a peep of activism from anyone.

STAND UP FOR YOUR BASIC RIGHTS, FOLKS! CARS DON'T KILL PEOPLE, PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE! KEEP YOUR GRUBBY GOVERNMENT HANDS OFF MY RIDE! YOU CAN PRY MY KEYS AWAY FROM MY COLD, DEAD FINGERS!

Sounds pretty ridiculous, doesn't it? I am 100% willing to subject myself to incredibly thorough regulatory bureaucracy so that I may drive a vehicle that I paid for with my own hard-earned money in the name of safety and the greater good. Here are some of the regulations that we place on operators of vehicles in this country:

1. Age Restriction - The pinko-liberal government has determined that you cannot drive until you're 16 years of age. Probably because you're ridiculously irresponsible and may endanger the lives of many prior to that age (even 16 is pushing it).
2. Licensure - You must pass driver's tests in order to operate a motorized vehicle in all states. They're so thorough, that they also require medical records in some instances so that they can be as confident as possible that you won't end up killing someone...before you're allowed to operate a vehicle.
3. Registration - If you operate a vehicle, that vehicle must have a public record attached to it, and it must be updated (typically) on an annual basis. That means that the government gets to know exactly where the owner/operator of these vehicles live, while providing a way to instantly access the owner's background and information while monitoring use (which we'll explore shortly). And this Big Brother machination gets updated annually.
4. Insurance - So you're of age, you passed the tests, and you've made your information available to most government entities (and typically the public as a whole with a little digging)...what if you still end up damaging property, hurting, or killing someone? Insurance! It protects the financial interests of the victims (or their families) around you and your irresponsible vehicle operation! Aaaand it's required that have it and pay for it, no matter the cost! You want to drive a car? Sure! Buy some insurance so I don't have to suffer financially for your incompetence.
5. Usage Monitoring (or "Policing" if you're nasty) - When you are operating a vehicle, you are subject to Policing. You are subject to the government being able to take punitive measures for acting in an unsafe manner; manner that is, in turn, determined by said government. Why? So the whole of the population can go about their daily lives and not have to worry that most of the people on the roads can drive however they want to. 

All of these regulatory measures boil down to safety and the greater good. They are intrusive, they are incredibly costly, and sometimes these regulations are abused by those that control them. But one thing is clear: we accept them because we know they work.

So I ask all of you "guns don't kill people" folks to ask yourselves why it is that you can't even entertain a discussion regarding thorough and strict regulations for firearms, while you go through all of the bureaucratic motions to enable yourself to operate a motor vehicle. Is it only because there is no amendment protecting your "inalienable" right to operate a motor vehicle? Or is it something more than that, like the safety and greater good of the bulk of the population?

Think on that.

Google+...Relevant?

Every time I visit my Google+ account (Fridays, typically) I end up first viewing my full stream. The tinge of excitement I feel when I see fresh content, comments and +1’s quickly fades away when I realize that none of the updates are actually coming from my Friends. These updates are all from the Social Media “elite” playing up their personal “branding” to each other. Honestly, the only one I can take seriously is Tom Anderson, the creator of Myspace.

Then I switch to my Friends’ stream. The same image album of my friend’s trip to Portland that I viewed last week has an 86% chance of STILL being at the top, above the fold and Google+ relevant. As the realization that nobody in the “real world” (not a social marketer) has accepted Google+ into their lives hits me, a single tear drop runs down to my chin (that’s not true, I don’t ever cry about Google…on Fridays).

So this leads me to the question, “What will it take for the masses to adopt the better platform [Google+]?”

The answer I came up with leads me all the back to 2007, the year in which “The Facebook” overtook “Myspace - a place for friends”. From what you remember you might think that the mass migration was all about functionality, a sleek look and the added features that Facebook offered over Myspace. Although that may have something to do with it, I think there is a larger picture here that we need to look at.

Specifically: this one.

In 2007, at the height of Myspace’s popularity and active users, it had a staggering 110 million users. Facebook overtook Myspace the following year and hasn’t stopped growing since. Compare that with Facebook’s 2011 users (700 million), and you see that the job Google+ has in store for itself seems a little less do-able without elbow grease.

So Google+ has a high bar to clear—that’s understood. But there is another difference between the two landscapes that I believe to be far more important than volume of users: user demographics. It’s one thing to have to climb a 110 million twenty-somethings hill; it’s quite another to climb a 700 million everyone including your grandma hill. This is the key difference. Myspace did not allow you to plan your family reunion, did not allow you to connect with your employers, and most certainly didn’t allow your grandmother to comment on your graduation pictures.

Is Facebook too big to fail? I think so.  But the bigger question for Google+ is: does Facebook have to fail? If I’m a strategist at Google+ (c’mon - everyone has a price), I’m going with “no”, and planning out exactly how to make Google+ relevant in a Facebook culture.

Google+ Pages may very well be the key. If enough companies begin to connect and offer value to consumers with Google+, it may be able to operate alongside Facebook. Since the release, this is not the case. Hangouts may turn into a big thing for your company’s social media marketing strategy, but I wouldn’t send a large amount of resources to it in the coming months.  I will be interested in seeing how Google plays the hand out.

From a social media marketing perspective: Google+ is not ready for your strategy.

Winter

Winter, you seductive bitch
I come to your open arms suspiciously by promises of sweaters and christmas
You deliver me skiing and beautiful landscape

But you get apathetic with my needs
Your feathery white carpet becomes a cesspool of filth from the bottom of my car
When will I see our shining sun again?
You don't know - I start to believe it never really being there in the first place
I finally leave my house, only to be reminded that I never want to go outside again

Now I know when you go away, and spring remains
Your absence will undermine my resentment towards you
My perspective will again be funneled into the glories of summer
Then fall will pass, with football and leaves
You will let down your shroud, and I won't be the wiser.

Work - ing

So. This morning I woke up expecting a big bang. I expected to see a hail of sparks shower down upon the landscape as I emerged from the house this morning, coffee in one hand, cigarette in the other. It may have been an awkward trumpet blast from a neighbor's kid that would've sealed the deal for me, but there was nothing. Just a few birds who brazenly decided to fly north (a little prematurely if you asked me) chirping about in the trees sans leaves. Did I also mention the temperature had dropped twenty degrees overnight, just to solidify the dull effect of my morning of mornings...the morning that will shift the entire course of my existence (once again)?

Is it too much to ask for an awkward trumpet blast? Maybe an out-of-tune G? Regardless of my mystic hopes, I was not greeted with any great pomp and circumstance. I rolled neatly from under my covers, hit the floor, brewed a coffee, lit a cigarette, and I was off.

Unfortunately, the email was not in my inbox. This email contained the keys to the life-changing kingdom. This email described, in great detail, what was to be expected over the next few hours. If the process hadn't been undermined already by now, I would've probably been shocked, but I had already been let down and after you add on one, or two, or three more failures on top of the first nasties, they tend to lose the kick.

So I was bored. Again - boredom. The lag of emotion and doubt that creeps in as soon as you muster up a whole bunch of steam (most of which you had no idea you actually could muster) and then exhaust it by turning the Wii Sports on and losing to Kawasaki (PRO 1300) and Keisha (PRO 2000) at a swift best-of-three in tennis.

I drink more coffee. This has always worked in the past to bring me up to a normal operating speed with the rest of the world. When I say rest of the world, I really mean the frat alumnus-turned-outside sales cats with the pomeade creating a crease between the top of their hair and the ever-so-slightly faded sides, so this may or may not be applicable to the literal rest of the world...just those overachieving fucks. So - as soon as the will to make a move has passed (this is something I am very familiar with by this point), I inevitably fall into the social media circle of death. I need to communicate socially, dammit! With peers! With other folks! With a world that I'm incapable of touching right now, because I haven't showered or brushed teeth or had enough nicotine and caffeine, so I fulfill my needs with blogs, and posts, and comments, and articles, and witticisms everywhere I turn. Heaven. This is how I became a Rockstar In The Basement. What's your excuse?

So - I finally receive the marching orders. Not as formal as I thought something this earth-shattering for someone like me would be, but effective nonetheless. I begin to make some queries, and get sucked right into it. I don't look up for four more hours, and I have to catch up to my other responsibilities. This is what I'm talking about!

The transition from a sales-based life built on building and maintaining to eventually exploit the hell out of someone's willing relationship with you to sitting in front of my computer thinking high-level thoughts and implementing the results has been a successfull one. Career move complete. Unemployment? Done. Overdue bills? I'll get you in a minute.

I don't know if you necessarily have to have orgasms every time you participate in your work environment (which I guess is what some people really want...I think I was probably chasing some workplace-euphoria for awhile), but you should absolutely be able to get caught up in it and not have to look back.

And that is how I became a Rockstar In The Basement. What's your excuse?